if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
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