the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
