sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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