5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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