You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
