I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
