My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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