we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
