You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
