ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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