We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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