in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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