You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
