just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
