oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
