I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
