He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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