We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
