I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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