The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
