I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
