Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
