Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
