It's Friday. Sex?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
its liver damage thursday
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
