you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
