He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
