I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
whose parrot is this?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
