My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dick very happy bro
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
