Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
