I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
