im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
