Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
