I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
