The maid of honor just puked.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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