Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
