Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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