You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
