i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
