Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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