She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
