Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
