Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Operation Purity has been aborted
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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