Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
