i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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