Someone shit on the floor
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
