Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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