i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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