You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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