Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You need Xanax blowdarts
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
