How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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