i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i think i just lost a toe
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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